© 2016-2017 Nicole Marques, Married To Crohns, All Rights Reserved


August 25, 2017

There's a quote that reads, "It's during the worst storms of your life that you will get to see the true colors of the people who say they care for you."


It's amazing how when life throws you curve balls and knocks you down, you get to see who is really there for you - who really cares - who will make the time for you. 


Recently, life threw me a pretty hefty curve ball. Knocking me right on my ass. And it most certainly surprised me who was there for me and who wasn't.


It got me thinking about the different types of friendships I have in my life. I searched online to see if there were any articles about this - boy, there are many! 


"Top 10 friends you need in your life!" 

"Top 24 types of friendships!"

"The 8 friends you need your life!"


I read a few, reflected on my own friendships and came up with 5 that I believe are important.


1) Friends who make the effort.

I have one friend who — although she is swamped with career and childcare duties — never fails to reach out via text, email or phone every few days, no matter what else is going on. Even if it’s simply something succinct — like “just wanted to touch base and say hi” — I truly appreciate these signals that I’m being thought about and that our friendship is important to her. I also appreciate my friends who are forgiving. I’m not saying that someone should forgive an offense quickly — or superficially. It takes time to forgive. But if too much time is taken, bad feelings fester, and the friendship may never get back on track. No one is perfect and a true friend will understand that.


2) Friends who are genuinely happy for me.

I’m fortunate enough to have at least a couple of friends who are sincerely and openly happy for me when something good occurs. Shouldn’t every kind of friend be happy for you? You’d think so, but that’s not always the case. Friends who are genuinely happy exhibit not a smidgen of jealously, but seem truly thrilled. 


3) Friends who are upbeat.

People who are positive and motivated and optimistic and who lift up those around them are worth hanging on to. I have one friend who never fails to compliment me on something — whether it's my work, my looks or behaviour.


4) Friends who are up for anything.

Sometimes you just need that friend who will rise to the occasion, no matter how crazy the idea. This makes life fun, and adventurous. Checking out a new restaurant together. Travelling, going to a concert, watching a horror movie. Whatever it is, it's important to have that one friend who "ride or die" with you. 


5) Friends who are authentic.


This is the steadfast friend who is anything but pretentious — the one who’s not afraid to see you without makeup or after she’s been crying or when her house is a mess. She’s not averse to showing you her true self — or seeing yours. She’s real and honest and will tell you the truth when asked her opinion. When your behavior is questionable, there is a fine line between expressing concern and expressing judgement. A true friend will tell you the truth — and will let you know they’ll always be on your side no matter what decision you make even if, in their opinion, it’s the wrong one.


Not all these qualities are found in one person - lucky you if they are! 

But I'm blessed to have a great group of ladies in my life who, no matter what stupid shit I do, or how busy we all get, or if I never see them (you know who you are!), we can always be open, honest and real with one another.







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