Wow! What a week it’s been!
Monday, I played soccer mom and took both kids to my son’s soccer practice. Tuesday, I spent all day studying for my final exam that night (I was taking a course at Humber College). Wednesday and Thursday, I spent the evening at home with the kids, on my own, as my husband had prior dinner plans – tis the season, right?
Friday, I woke up and felt ruined. Let me put this into perspective.
Since being off work in October, when my flare up hit it’s worst, I have not been the hands-on wife and mother most women would be. I don’t do bath time every night. I don’t drop off the kids, or pick them up every day from school. I don’t make dinner everyday. I don’t entertain the kids on my own often, rarely even. It’s just too exhausting for me. My husband really is super dad. He does it all. Works all day, helps take care of the kids in the evening, we share bath duty most nights and if the kids wake up in the middle of the night, he gets up. Oh! And those 6am wake up calls from our youngest, he gets up first.
Unfortunately, having three evenings alone with the kids this week caught up to me. Hence, the crash and burn.
I was great in the moment! My kids had no idea mommy was tired. We danced and sang on the car ride to soccer. We danced and played music each night during bath time. We played dress up. We watched Christmas movies while sipping hot chocolate we made and I even found some patience and energy to play PS4 with my four-year-old each night – again, rarely happens!
I am so proud I was able to do! I had the energy, the strength and the patience to get through it. Until Friday morning of course, when I woke up and my body felt as though a truck ran over it. This is what life with Crohn’s Disease is all about. Ups and downs. Bursts of energy and then falling rocks.
So, as I write this article, sitting on the couch, where I’ve spent the entire day so far, wrapped in two blankets, I think about what the future holds for me. How will I feel after surgery? How will I feel after I am finally out of this flare up? I hope and pray that I can maintain a good energy surge throughout the day and no longer require ‘down days’.
Today, I am grateful for my husband who woke up at 6:30am with our children, after getting home at 12:30am. I am thankful for his flexibility with work to take the children to school and pick them up today. I am thankful for him being home tonight with us. And most importantly, I am thankful for his continued patience with me.
Xo Nicole Marques xo