Should I be excited? With the way my body has been treating me lately, infusion days aren’t what they used to be. I used to feel SO good after my treatments, now, I don’t notice a difference.
What are infusion days you may ask?
Well it’s simply this; I sit in a clinic designed specifically for Remicade patients, for about two hours. I sit back, put my legs up, read a book, write my blog, or take a nap. Remicade is given through an IV and I am monitored by AMAZING nurses. They check my temperature and blood pressure often throughout the two-hour period. I do this every 4 weeks.
Before I begin the infusion, I have to weigh myself. The medication amount is based on weight. Last month my weight showed I had dropped 14lbs from October to November. Today, I am at 37kg, aka 8l.5lbs. It’s official – I have reached my lowest weight – ever. How disappointing. Although I have been feeling better in terms of pain management, I am still losing weight. For a petite girl like myself, this is a very scary thought! What’s left of me to lose?
My teenage self is crying on the inside. Flashbacks of the awful, hurtful things people in school said about me during my initial diagnosis. I was called anorexic, a drug addict. I was accused of being pregnant, hiding my pregnancy with over sized school uniforms and sweaters. See, they weren’t over sized, I just went from 108lbs to 92lbs. Also, I was wearing sweaters in the spring and summer because I was COLD!
I know this is something I will overcome. However, in the moment, it’s defeating.
Surgery… please hurry!
Xo Nicole Marques xo
Interested in learning more? Check out Remicade’s website HERE.
Special thanks to my cousin Tara for knitting me this very warm infinity scarf and to my friend Kim for this super soft and cozy blanket!